Running down a dream
by sincere6
Summary: He thought he was looking for his friend, but what he found was so much more. Starts off a little slow to set everything up, but hang in there and things will heat up fast! MCU, after CA:WS and through AoU. No slash. Disclaimer: All characters owned by Marvel with exception of OC.
1. Chapter 1

It had been a long day and she was _so_ ready to be home. Although she never regretted her decision to move into her oldest brother's apartment, there were days when she missed her little loft right in the middle of D.C. and today was definitely one of them. Living across the river in Virginia had it's perks, but walking from the train to her apartment late at night tended to put her on high alert; which is why she noticed the slight reflection of the streetlights on something in the bushes.

 _Probably just garbage,_ she thought, but she kept straining her eyes to see more – _was that an arm or just her imagination?_ her nerves winding into a tight ball in her ribcage. She gripped her keys tightly in her fist as she drew closer, unconsciously holding her breath.

A slight rustle, sound, or movement, and she was primed to run. Then she rounded the curb and her pent-up breath left her in a "whoosh". It had not been her imagination, and in front of her lay a man, terribly beaten and dirty. Glancing around for help, she rushed to his side to assess the damage. He was young, she noted, and oddly dressed. She brushed the dark hair from his face and called out to wake him up, but received nothing but a soft groan in reply.

"It's going to be ok, sir. I'm going to get you to a hospital". She reached for her phone and began dialing 9-1-1 when a hand shot out and grasped her wrist.

"No."

He thrust her hand away and staggered to his feet.

"But you need medical attention, the doctors can help you." She said placing a hand on his arm.

He shrugged away her hand "No hospitals" he said "they'll find me", and started to stumble away when he collapsed on the ground with a groan.

"Please," she said. "Let me help you."

He finally turned his face to her, and she was struck with the depth of despair in his eyes. His face was bloody, but young, his clothing tattered, but sturdy.

"You're a soldier, aren't you? I've grown up around military men my entire life, and I know one when I see one."

He flinched away from her compassion filled face, and tried to stand again.

"Listen," she said as she tried to help him to his feet, "I don't know what kind of trouble you're in, but something tells me that you won't hurt me, and it's not just the fact that I could knock you over with my pinkie finger." He glanced up at her words to see her standing with hands on hips and raised eyebrows. He grunted.

"Men." she shook her head. "Wounded and near death, but still defensive when it comes to being beaten by a girl."

He just glared.

"Ok, c'mon. I'm taking you home with me to get cleaned up. We can figure out what to do after you've been treated."

They staggered along the last hundred yards to her apartment, with him working hard just to move his feet, and her struggling to bear most of his weight - and kicking herself for letting him convince her not to call the cops. She had to lean him against the wall to get her door open, and once inside he collapsed on the couch with another agonized groan.

"Right. What now?" She stood staring at him, biting her cuticles and tapping one foot, then walked to the kitchen, bringing out a first aid kit, warm water, and towels.

"I've got to tell you soldier, the 'doctor' in my job title, doesn't really apply to this kind of thing, " she said as she pressed a towel to what looked like a bullet wound leaking blood down his leg. He hissed in pain, but didn't try to pull away, staring at her with quiet, measuring regard. The eyes she had originally thought were dark, glinted a light blue-grey.

"Oh that's right! I never introduced myself! My southern roots should be ashamed!"

She looked up to meet his gaze,

"My name is Norah, and it's lovely to meet you mr…?" she trailed off, waiting for him to fill in the blank. He furrowed his brow in confusion, his eyes growing dark once more.

"I don't… " he rasped. "There's nothing there." He said with slowly dawning horror.

"Oh.. that's ok sweetie. That happens sometimes when you've been through something terrible, and by the looks of it, you certainly have. Besides, I'm from the south, so we usually just call people sugar, sweetie, and honey anyway." She said with a wink.

The confusion and horror left his face with a sigh, to be replaced by one of weariness.

"Why don't you just rest while I get these injuries bandaged ok? We can deal with everything else in the morning."

He sighed again, and closed his eyes, sinking down into the couch. Within minutes, his ragged breathing had smoothed out into the deep, soft sounds of someone truly exhausted.

* * *

He stopped running and rested his hands on his knees, breathing deeply. It didn't matter how far he ran or how hard he pushed himself, he couldn't outrun the guilt that tightened like a band around his chest every time he thought about his friend. They had been searching for weeks and had been unable to find a single clue or lead. His phone rang in his pocket and he answered with a sigh.

"Yeah" he snapped into the phone.

"Oh.. hey Cap. Having a bad day?" Sam asked through the phone.

Steve let out another sigh. "Sorry Sam. Just a frustrating morning."

"Well I have something that might change that. Meet me at my place in 20." With that Sam ended the call.

That familiar tingle ran through Steve's mind, but he shook it out of his head. He had been disappointed too many times over the past few weeks to let himself get excited. He would just have to wait and see.

* * *

"Can I help you officer?" Norah asked as she swung open her door. "Good afternoon ma'am, we have received a report in this area of a dangerous looking man lurking around. Have you seen anything of that nature? He has been described as tall, athletic, long dark hair, and with some sort of metal on his arm."

"Well, no officer. I haven't seen any dangerous looking men around here, but I will be sure to call if I do. Do you have a number where I can reach you?"

She closed the door hoping she had played that off convincingly. That officer had kept trying to peek behind her as though he thought she was hiding something.

"Probably just my imagination" she mumbled to herself as she entered the living room and looked at the man still sleeping on her couch. Her imagination had been running wild for days after realizing that not only had the man been riddled with bullets, but also that what she had originally assumed to be some sort of body armor on his arm was actually a bio-mechanical prosthesis of some sort.

An hour later she walked into the room carrying a plate of warm blueberry muffins, only to find him struggling to sit up on her couch. She reached over to help him pull himself upright.

"Good morning. How are you feeling?" She asked with a smile.

He glanced up at the plate she was holding. "Hungry", he replied.

"Well that's a good start I think!" She replied with a laugh, holding out the muffins to him. "Help yourself".

She watched him eat in silence for a few minutes before asking "Do you remember anything about what happened to you? Do you remember your name?"

"It's…" He shook his head. "I'm a soldier." He grunted.

"Yes, I know that, but is there anyone you would like me to contact? Family? Someone who can help you with… whatever it is you need help with? I'm sorry to push you like this, but we need some answers. Think hard."

He seemed to think for a minute, "there's no one. They're all dead. Except…"

"Except? Except who? Is there someone out there who might know who you are?" She asked. "Your memories will probably come back over time, but if you have loved ones, I'm sure they're looking for you, you've been with me for days, and who knows how long you were out there before that. Maybe they could help you put the pieces back together."

He gazed at her for a long time, eyebrows lowered, thinking. "Bucky" he whispered. "He called me Bucky."

"Who did? Is... Bucky your name? Who called you that? The person that shot you?". Norah didn't want to push him, but she needed as much information as she could get if she was going to try to help him.

"Yes…Bucky. I went to the museum… I saw the pictures. I'm Bucky. He…shot me, but he didn't want to. I think… He's my friend."

"Ok. That's good! That's a good start! Do you remember your friend's name?" Norah decided not to push the whole "he didn't want to but he shot me anyway" line of thinking – at least not right now.

Bucky got a faraway look in his eye, then smiled slightly, looking up at her. "Steve".


	2. Chapter 2

"So tell me again why we're in Virginia?" Steve asked as they got out of Sam's car. "Some sort of creepy guy got spotted? Has it reached the point that we're just going to hunt down anything that sounds slightly abnormal?"

"Hey man, I know you're frustrated, but you've got to cool your jets." Sam looked around for the right address. "The report described the 'creepy guy' that was spotted as athletic with long, dark hair and a metal arm. That's pretty specific."

They began walking toward an apartment building. "Ok. So we'll just have to search the entire area. How long ago was this report? We can split up and canvas the neighborhood…."

"Whoa whoa whoa! You think I didn't think of all this Cap?" Sam said with a chuckle. "The local PD canvassed the area already. One officer reported someone acting strange and thinking he saw what might have been blood and muddy clothing in her living room behind her. We're going to check out that apartment. It has been about a few weeks, but I think this woman might have some useful information. And here we are." Sam said indicating the door in front of them. "Shall we?"

Just as Sam lifted his arm to knock, the door swung open, and in front of them was a pretty young woman with green eyes, auburn hair, and a very startled look on her face.

"Caaaan I help you?" She asked, confused, with a soft southern lilt to her voice.

Sam launched into his explanation, but her eyes were glued to the Captain.

"Oh my god." She said softly, interrupting Sam's monologue. "You're Steve." She looked as though all the puzzle pieces had just clicked into place.

Steve was familiar by now with the occasional fan, but had never really gotten used to it. He chuckled awkwardly "Uh, yes. I'm Steve Rogers, err, Captain America. Listen, we were wondering if you could do us a favor, you see, I'm looking for a friend of mine…"

She seemed to suddenly come out of her shocked stupor and grabbed him by the forearm. "Come inside! Quick! I can't believe this!".

Steve looked back at Sam, who just shrugged at him, as he allowed himself to be pulled into the apartment. As soon as they were all inside, she closed the door and turned to them.

"A week and a half ago, I found someone badly injured on the side of the road. He refused to go to a hospital, so I brought him here. Stupid, I know, but for some reason, he just looked so helpless and lost and… Anyway, at first he couldn't remember anything, but then things started coming back to him. He said his name was Bucky, and that he had a friend named Steve… He didn't remember a lot about what happened to him, but he started remembering everything about his childhood…

He's told me hundreds of stories about growing up with his best friend Steve, he kept saying "that little guy" and laughing about getting his friend out of trouble all the time… I just never put two and two together until I saw you just now!" She rattled off her explanation talking faster and faster, until Steve took her hand to steady her and get her attention. She stopped talking on a gasp, and stared up into his face. "I can't believe this!" she repeated again.

"Do you know where he is now? I need to find him. He's been badly hurt by some truly evil people, and I think they've messed with his memories. They're mostly gone now, but I need to help him." Steve's heart was racing. Finally they had found a solid lead! He glanced at Sam who was smiling at him, excitement running across his face.

Norah gave him a funny smile, "Of course I know were he is. He's been in really bad shape, physically and mentally. The night terrors would have been bad enough without all the memory loss and physical trauma… I couldn't just let him wander off now could I?" She chuckled.

"He's in the shower".

"Are you serious?!" Sam asked.

Norah glanced over to him, and then back to the shocked face of Steve. "Uhh, yeah. I'm serious. Is that a bad thing?"

Steve's face finally began to unfreeze, and shock slowly faded into joy. "How did all this happen? You're saying he just showed up on your doorstep?"

Norah smiled again, "well, not _exactly_ on my doorstep. Like I said, I found him, he needed help, I helped him. Pretty simple."

Sam chuckled, "Maybe for you! We've been hunting him for weeks. I was starting to feel like we were hunting a ghost." He paused for a moment. "But, I thought he would be pretty messed up. He just told you his name? And who Steve was? Why didn't he contact us?"

At this, Steve looked up. "Is he ok? You said he needed a hospital when you found him."

"Why don't you both come sit down. Bucky will be out in a few minutes, and until then I can fill you in on what I know - which honestly isn't much." Norah lead them to the couch to sit. "As I said before, I found him, but he wouldn't let me take him to the hospital. He kept saying 'they' would find him there. I've grown up around the military, so I figured out pretty quickly that the was was from some sort of military or paramilitary background, and he just looked so _lost_. Kind of like a puppy." She said sheepishly, her cheek lifting in a soft smile. "After I got him cleaned up a little, I realized that his wounds were not life threatening as long as I fought off any infection, and that he mostly just needed a lot of rest."

"When did all this happen?" Steve asked.

"About two weeks ago."

"Were you ever going to find someone to help?" Sam said.

"Of course I was! I just... wasn't really sure where to begin to be honest. I'm a psychologist and I've done quite a bit of research involving traumatic memories, so I thought I would do as much as I could from here, and then if he wasn't progressing, we would look into more options."

Steve seemed to accept this, as he just shook his head at the story.

Sam looked over at him. "To be honest Cap, her story is too bizarre to make up."

"Well if you don't believe me yet, you will in a minute." She said, glancing between the two men. "I've got about 200 lbs of flesh and blood proof in my bathroom."


	3. Chapter 3

Suddenly they heard a gasp from the hallway, all three heads swiveled around to see Bucky standing in the hallway, hair still damp from his shower, with a terrified look on his face.

Steve started towards him, but froze when Bucky flinched back as if slapped in the face. He reached out a hand to him, "hey Buck," he said softly, "remember me?"

Bucky's eyes shifted between Steve and Norah, looking as though he might bolt from the room at any moment. "It's me. Steve. You know, that little guy from Brooklyn?" His cheek lifted in a half smile - searching for any recognition in Bucky's face.

Norah glanced up at his words and nearly wept at the look of desperation in Steve's eyes. "Hey, remember all those stories you told me about your friend? That time when he tried to fight three boys twice his size because they were kicking a puppy? Or how you used to sneak into the movies when you were little?" Bucky's eyes lifted to her in question.

"This is him. He's come looking for you." She smiled a little at Steve, "I think he missed you Bucky." She said with a wink.

Bucky seemed to sink down into himself muttering "...steve...table...my friend...?"

Sam looked over at Norah "What's happening to him? Should we do something? He looks like he's about to freak out"

"No, don't worry. I think he's remembering something. He's done this a few times before when he was trying to put together the details of a memory."

Suddenly he stopped muttering and looked up. The side of his face lifted in a smile as he looked at Steve and said "you're taller."

All the tension left Steve's body in an instant and he chuckled. "Yeah, I guess so. But not since we last saw each other...Do you remember anything since we were kids Buck? The war? Pulling me out of the river a few weeks ago? Anything?" He took another step towards him.

Bucky's voice was rough from disuse and emotion "Bits and pieces I guess." This time he didn't flinch away when Steve moved closer. "But nothing really makes any sense... We fought didn't we? Why? I thought we were friends." At this he looked up at Steve with a heartbreaking expression.

Steve reached out to hug him and Bucky froze - although he didn't pull away. "We are Buck. We are." A moment later Bucky's arms wrapped around his friend, and he collapsed against him shaking. "Thank you".

* * *

A few hours later the four of them gathered around the dinner table. Bucky still looking a bit like a lost puppy, but there was more animation in his eyes, his expression lighter, and at times, he almost smiled. He and Steve had spent the afternoon talking about everything that had happened, Bucky asking question after question about things he couldn't quite piece together. Steve on the other hand looked like a kid at Christmas, constantly glancing at Bucky and smiling - although Norah couldn't help but notice the concern etched into his face, and the slight tension in his shoulders.

"So... What do we do next?" Sam asked, looking around the table. "I mean, this is great and all, but what do we do now? Call the team? Get him cleared? Find him a place to stay?"

"Nothing." Norah smiled. "Bucky can stay here while he finishes recuperating, does that sound ok to you?" She glanced over to him.

"Yes ma'am. I think... I guess..." He looked to Steve, then back to the others. "I've hurt people...killed... Aren't the police after me? If Hydra finds out where I am..." The anguish in his eyes didn't go unnoticed by the others.

"No." Steve put a hand on his shoulder. "Hydra is destroyed, at least most of them, and the rest are in hiding. You're safe from them for now, and you couldn't control yourself when you hurt those people. No one is holding you accountable for that."

Bucky released a pent up breath. "Ok then... I-I'll stay."

As the hour got later, Sam stood to his feet. "I should really go, I've got an early day tomorrow, and it looks like everything is under control here. Need a ride Steve?"

At this, Bucky seemed to snap to attention, the idea of Steve leaving again causing fear to clutch his heart. Steve looked at his face and then over to Norah. "Actually, if it's OK with you ma'am, I thought I might stay... just in case anyone needs me. I'm perfectly happy on the couch or the floor." Bucky sighed quietly in relief.

Norah missed nothing in the exchange, and smiled to Steve. "Of course you can stay - you're welcome to the couch, or you can share the guest bedroom with Bucky."

"OK then." Sam nodded and headed out the door "I'll call and check in tomorrow - and I'll let Fury and Hill know you're unavailable for a few days..."

Norah turned to Steve and Bucky - "Well, unfortunately, I also have an early morning tomorrow. I've taken quite a few days off the past few weeks, so it's back to work for me." She leaned close and handed Steve linens and bedding "he's been having pretty terrible night terrors, so far the best thing I've been able to do is just talk to him and remind him that he's safe - he trusts you, so you'll probably have even better luck with this but if you need my help, come get me." Walking down the hall she called "Have a good night boys, and don't hesitate to wake me if you need anything."

* * *

Hours later Norah snapped awake to the now familiar sounds of Bucky's hoarse screams, suddenly interrupted by a deep, soothing voice. She listened as his sobs seem to quiet, and heard the quiet murmurs of Steve's voice. She had grown up in a military family, and her brothers had been fans of the old Captain America comic books. When he was found in the ice, Norah, along with the rest of the world had been fascinated. She had been a regular visitor to the Captain America exhibit, and as a lifelong WWII history buff, had done quite a bit of research involving Steve Rogers/Captain America and his Howling Commandos. Although she wasn't completely surprised by his compassion toward his friend, she was nevertheless touched by the care he showed toward his best friend, even after everything he had been through. She started remembering the stories Bucky had told her about their antics as young boys, and couldn't help but chuckle to herself as a wave of longing hit her to see her brothers again. Steve's voice once again caught her attention, disrupting her thoughts, and smiling, she decided to let them be, knowing Steve would come get her if needed, and drifted back to sleep to the soft sound of his voice floating down the hallway.

* * *

Steve hadn't been able to sleep, alternating between elation at having finally found Bucky, and worry over his memory loss and trauma. Having heard Norah's warning earlier, he wasn't surprised when he heard Bucky's soft snores turn into harsh breathing, and then screams of "no, stop" and "I won't". He rushed into the guest room where Bucky was thrashing on the bed, tangled in sweat-soaked sheets, and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Bucky!" "Bucky, wake up. It's ok! It's just a nightmare!"

Bucky's eyes snapped open, but there was no recognition in them. He tried to push Steve away, but Steve just held on a little tighter. "Bucky! It's me, Steve. You're safe!"

Bucky blinked a few times, and then suddenly seemed to recognize him. He sank down into the bed with harsh sobs and breathing, "Steve... Steve..."

"I'm here Bucky"

"It's so cold Steve... so dark."

"I know, but you're safe now Bucky. I've got you, and I'm not going to let anyone hurt you."

Steve held Bucky as he slowly sank back into sleep, murmuring "I'm with you buddy, I'm with you."


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note: Hey everyone! Thanks for following along! I promise things are going to pick up soon, but I wanted to set up a strong foundation for the characters first. Drama will ensue ;) Please let me know what you think with comments and suggestions! Thanks again for reading!**

* * *

Steve was sitting on the couch reading when Norah got home from work. He looked up with a smile at the woman who had shared her home and saved his best friend's life.

"Hi! What are you up to?" She asked as she lowered herself into a chair and began to rub her sore feet.

Steve just held up his book, giving her an odd look. "You have a pretty extensive library you know - for someone so young... which makes me realize that I don't really know anything about you."

Norah smiled, "yes, well, I'm very mysterious" she said, wiggling her eyebrows with a chuckle.

Steve chuckled to "Really though. Other than the fact that you're a psychologist, you work in D.C., and that you're entirely too trusting and hospitable, I don't know anything about you! And I've been living in your apartment for over a week!"

Norah continued to smile, but looked slightly uncomfortable with all the interest in her life... "well, what do you want to know?"

"Anything you'll tell me. What is your family like? Where are you from? Exactly how old _are_ you? Which one of the hundreds of books you have stowed around this place is your favorite?"

Norah held up her hands in surrender "ok! ok! I get it! Uhmm.. where to start?" To be honest, Norah hadn't had someone so sincerely interested in her in a long time. She hadn't dated for a long time, not since... the incident... and she really didn't have a lot of friends here in D.C. But she knew he was just being friendly, she could trust him. Something in her really _wanted_ to tell him about herself. All of it. Not just the surface stuff, and without all the secrets she usually hid from people.

She shook her head to rid herself of those silly thoughts, and pulled herself back to the present. "Well, I grew up in the southwest. Oklahoma if you want specifics. My dad was military, so I was always around his old buddies from "back in the day". Two older brothers, who I loved to hate... and my mom, who was the wisest, most patient person I've ever known. We lived on a ranch, so it was a lot of hard work, but also a lot of fun- my brothers and I used to spend all of our time outside - just running around."

"Sounds pretty great. Is your family still there? How did you end up so far away from your hometown?"

"Um.. no." Suddenly, Norah's expression wasn't quite so bright. "My mom passed when I was about 10, and my dad kinda lost if after that. He started working again with some sort of paramilitary group... ended up pretty badly injured after a job and got pretty severe PTSD. That's posttraumatic stress disorder" she said in explanation. "After that things changed pretty drastically. He would get pretty violent when he was having a flashback - it's not common in people with PTSD, but it does happen sometimes - and after a few bad instances, my brothers and I were taken away and put in foster care. Dad died a few years after that..." her voice faded as she looked up, realizing how much she had just shared..

"I'm sorry! I don't know why I'm telling you all of this! But no-my family doesn't still live there. I'm here because my brothers both joined the marines, and since they were stationed here, I thought I would move and be closer to them. They're both deployed right now, and this is actually their apartment! I'm just sort of... long term house sitting." She said the last part with a smile. Steve could see that she cared about her brothers more than she was letting on.

"I'm honored that you felt comfortable telling me that. You are very strong to have gotten through all that - still going to school and having a career..." Steve was amazed that she had told him so much. He realized that she must have put herself through school, worked through highschool, everything it took to get her where she was today.

As he looked into her face, someone flushed still from her embarrassment of telling him so much, he suddenly wanted to tell her everything about himself and his life. He wanted to share his secrets with her - but he had only known her for two weeks!

"My mom was a nurse." He said, breaking the silence. "She was the best, always taking care of me, but never letting me get away with taking the easy road. I was a pretty sick, scrawny kid you know."

Norah laughed. "Umm. yeah, I think I remember hearing that somewhere" she said sarcastically.

He smiled, "well, I was always getting beaten up, and she would just shake her head, clean up my cuts, and tell me that bullys were just a part of the world, and that all I could do was keep getting back up. 'Never let them knock you down for good' she would say. 'They might have more muscle, but you've got more heart.'" Steve shrugged self-consciously. "I guess I took her seriously."

"And literally" they heard from behind them. They both turned to see Bucky standing in the doorway to the kitchen where he had been puttering around for the last hour. Having Steve back had changed Bucky drastically from the whimpering mess Norah had found on the street. As his memories came back, they brought with them the old Bucky, the one with witty comebacks and charm for miles. Although the memories also had a dark side, and his nightmares were worse and more frequent than ever. Norah worried that he needed to talk about what he had been through, but didn't want to push him too much yet.

"Steve used to pick fights with people three times his size, and he would just take punch after punch. I literally never saw the guy stay down. It would have been completely ridiculous if it weren't so dam-" he caught himself "excuse me ma'am" Norah just rolled her eyes "-darn inspiring". Bucky laughed "This one time, I swear, he was taking on this guy who probably weighed 250 lbs. with nothing but his knuckles, his spunk, and a metal trashcan lid!" Steve just shook his head at this, "He was being a jerk, disrespectful. What was I supposed to do?" Bucky just kept talking "Of course, I had to come save the day. Again."

Steve laughed at this "Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a big hero aren't you. Savin' the little guy from getting his face bashed in."

Norah had a huge grin on her face "You guys bicker just like my brothers. It's nice having that around again." She looked up and happened to make eye contact with Steve as she said this, his eyes seeming to look right into her soul. Suddenly a blush spread across her cheeks..."umm.. anyway. Who's hungry? I can make some dinner..."

Bucky stood at that "Dinner is taken care of - I may have forgotten who I am, but I didn't forget how to cook!"


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: So sorry for the delay everyone! I'm back now - so hopefully I'll be able to update more often!

* * *

Norah woke up early and stretched, listening to the now uncommon silence in her apartment. She had become so accustomed to waking up to deep voices and clanging from the kitchen, although it was nice to sleep in, she felt a little forlorn and lonely. Earlier that week, Steve had taken Bucky to meet with "some friends". Norah could only assume it was former members of what used to be SHIELD - or maybe some of the avengers... either way, it was necessary. Although Bucky was improving in leaps and bounds, he was often either full of nervous energy or moody and depressed, and she had agreed that maybe if they gave him something to do - a purpose of some kind - he might snap back out of it. Bucky and Steve had been spending their days working with... whoever it was... for about a week when suddenly Steve had urgent "out of town business". Bucky had continued to go back and forth with Sam to ... wherever it was... and Norah was left alone again to wait.

She chuckled to herself, amazed at how quickly the two men had taken up residence in her life. It had started as a personal mission of sorts, and a chance to use her training again, but had turned into so much more. Bucky had become like a brother to her (yes, another one), and Steve... well... she wouldn't really call him a brother figure. Norah blushed as she thought about the awkward goodbye she had offered when Steve had left for his "out of town business". He had walked in the door in a rush, and started grabbing his things while explaining that he would be gone for a while, Norah had jumped in to help him pack things trying to keep her worries in check, when he reached out to take his jacket from her and their hands touched for a brief moment. All the commotion stopped, and they just stood there, staring at each other. Norah had never been good at expressing emotions, and was even worse at awkward situations involving a certain super-soldier/all around good guy. So she did what any girl in her situation would do - she reached out and punched him in the arm. Turns out, she had put quite a bit of force into that punch, and although it didn't seem to phase him at all, she ended up with a sprained wrist, which he immediately felt guilty about. So Norah held back the tears of pain from her wrist and said something along the lines of "have a great trip and good luck doing... whatever it is you do... *cough* awkward chuckle *cough*" and then Steve just silently backed out the door before saying "I'll see you soon?" Norah couldn't decide if the question in his tone was intentional or not - but as soon as he left, the tears she was holding back quickly changed from wrist pain, to something entirely different.

Norah knew it was silly to think of him that way, knowing that any relationship they might start would quickly become very complicated. If all of the obvious concerns could be put aside, Steve didn't really know that much about her past, and her history with SHIELD could definitely be a deal breaker. Norah hated that she had a past that she felt the need to hide. She had always been such an open person, "but that's what you get when you start working for spies." She thought to herself.

Later that evening, she stood gazing out the window when she saw Sam pull up and Bucky step out of the car. He looked almost normal, with the exception of his habitual long-sleeved zip-up in the middle of the heat of summer. She could understand his need to avoid too many questioning glances though, and an incredibly advanced bio-technical, chrome-shiny arm tended to draw those. The "It's just a new prosthesis" excuse didn't really fly. Norah smiled to herself as she watched him lean into the car and say something to Sam. He seemed to be in a good mood, and Norah could use a little of his old school charm tonight after her somewhat gloomy day. As she turned away from the window with a smile on her face she noticed another car that had pulled up opposite Sam's. A dark SUV with tinted windows was never a good sign, and she got even more concerned when she saw what looked like a camera pointed in Bucky's direction through the slightly opened passenger window. Turning back, she stepped closer to the window peering down into the twilight, but a large truck crossed in front of the SUV, and when it passed, the SUV was gone. She shivered, but shook her head to rid herself of the strangely unsettling thoughts. Norah chided herself as she walked into the living room to greet Bucky - she was being ridiculous, it was just her overactive imagination running wild again.

Bucky walked through the door with a thump and immediately returned her bright smile. "A lovely evening for a lovely lady" he said, putting his arm across her shoulders. "You know, if this were 1945 I would be picking you up at the door and taking you dancing tonight" he said.

"Well, I don't know about that - I probably wouldn't have had the strength to fight my way through the throngs of enamored women that you've mentioned over and over again." Norah elbowed him in the ribs with a wink. "Besides, you would have to fight your way through that crowd of eligible gentlemen you passed in the hallway" she said sarcastically. "No, I think I'll stick with my epically single status for now. Although I might take you up on a dance or two."

"Well, I have no idea what it means to be 'epically' single, but I can tell you that any man who doesn't want to date you is crazy." Bucky said with a smile, "I always wanted to be that big brother you know, the one that intimidates guys and says things like 'if you hurt her, I'll kill you', but I never got that chance with my little sis. She went off to boarding school, and then I went off to war." Bucky's eyes grew dark as his mind traveled back, and he reflected on everything and everyone that he had lost, simply by staying alive.

Norah hugged his arm and leaned her cheek into his shoulder, "well, I've already got a few older brothers, but since they are currently thousands of miles away, I would be happy if you took up the mantle of overprotective father figure." She leaned back and winked again.

Bucky laughed, and the shadows cleared away from his eyes.

"So, how about that dance? You keep saying you were suuuch a good dance partner, I'm curious to see what all the hype was about."

"Um, Norah, typically we dance with music - and a dance floor."

"Fine! I'll put on the music," Norah said walking over to her prized turntable - she was a bit of an audiophile after all - and started picking out a record "you start moving the furniture out of the way".

Bucky just laughed and did as he was told, and when Steve walked in the door an hour later, he found them laughing as Bucky taught Norah all the 'new' swing steps. Steve smiled at the oblivious pair, so happy to have his friend back, and shook his head at the strange warmth that stole through his chest at the feeling of coming home to Norah.


	6. Chapter 6

A few days after Steve's return, Norah came home from work to find her boys (as she had taken to thinking about them) deep in conversation. they abruptly stopped talking as she entered the room, but not before she overheard a few choice words. "So this was all Hydra?" She asked, ignoring their secretive looks. "I knew it." She muttered under her breath.

Steve looked at her with narrowed eyes "what do you know about Hydra?"

"Oh, um... you know, not much. I just remember reading that somewhere... probably online or something. Didn't all the information from SHIELD get dumped onto the internet recently? The same day of that bombing right? So, yeah, I must have... read something online about that. Probably." Norah tried not to fidget, but she hated lying to them. She just wasn't sure what would happen if she told them.

Steve stood up with a knowing look on his face "Norah, look at me." He put his hands on her shoulders as she raised her eyes to meet his. "Whatever it is that you're hiding, you don't have to. You can trust us." He glanced back at Bucky who nodded in support. "If you know anything about Hydra, you need to tell us. There is a lot more to them than a bombing."

"So it was Hydra? I knew it! I _told_ Fury that this would happen if he kept ignoring the signs, but he just kept putting me off..." She trailed off, suddenly realizing that her rant was revealing much more than she intended. "Uhm..." She looked up into Steve's eyes, he still stood with his hands on her shoulders, looking into her face.

"Ok, ok. I know I can trust you guys, I just... I don't want to be involved in this. It's not what I signed up for, and I didn't tell you anything because I didn't want to get dragged back in."

"Norah, you don't have to worry. We won't involve you unless we absolutely have to. And you know we will take every precaution to keep you safe. I would do anything to keep you safe..."

Norah couldn't meet his eyes, a warm feeling spread through her at his words, but she shrugged off his hands and turned away, gazing out the window.

"So, you know how I'm always working weird hours and come home smelling like coffee? It's because I'm a barista. I work at a coffee shop at the VA. When I told you that I was a psychologist, I wasn't exactly lying... but I wasn't telling the who truth either." Norah turned away from the window and sat down at the table. "A few years ago I was working at a trauma clinic back home, I had just finished my dissertation, and I was excited to continue by work with trauma victims and people suffering from PTSD. I was approached by someone who said he worked for the federal government, and he wanted to offer me a job. Long story short, I interviewed with a few people, and ended up taking the job. That's how I ended up here." She paused to make some tea, and after taking a sip, continued with her story. "The job was for SHIELD. I didn't know it at the time, but as soon as I finished all the paperwork, I was told about the organization. I was to be working with agents in a therapeutic setting. I was excited when I first learned this... It was right up my alley, and I wanted the opportunity to help people who were fighting for our country, people like my brothers. I was actually supposed to have a session with you when you first woke up Steve, but _someone_ never showed up."

She quirked an eyebrow in his direction, and he just shrugged. Norah sighed into her tea, "but then things started getting complicated. You see - I am VERY good at my job, and it doesn't take much time for me to figure people out - particularly when they're telling me every little detail about their lives and missions. After a few months, I started noticing some discrepancies in the stories of different agents. People who should never have crossed paths would mention working together, or little details about missions would be different than what was officially reported in their files. It was nothing major, but it just kept happening. Then I met Nick Fury."

Norah pursed her lips and rolled her shoulders, looking somewhat annoyed at the mention of Fury.

"I had been keeping detailed records of all my sessions - as all good therapists do - and I had mentioned in my files the trend of little discrepancies, but I had not decided yet if they were part of something bigger, or just the harmless misunderstandings and miscommunications of people who had been through a lot. When Fury called me into his office, I was curious - obviously this had something to do with my work, but I had no idea why the director would need to see me. After a few nice compliments, it became very clear. He had been reading my files, and had taken note of my theory about the different agents. Those files are highly sensitive, and completely secure. There was no way that he should have had access to them, no matter what authority he had. Clinical notes are for my eyes only, and that is to protect my clients. I was furious that he had violated my clients' - his agents' - privacy, and put my license to practice at risk, and I told him so. He said I had to look at the bigger picture, and filled me on on Hydra. He wanted me to spy on my clients, trick them into believing that I was a Hydra agent, find out who was involved in Hydra's scheming, and report back to him on all of my sessions. At first, I helped him. I gave him information about missions that was different from official files, but he refused to do anything with the information... Eventually he was asking me to do things that wouldn't just get information Hydra agents, but everyone in my department, and still refusing to act on the information I had given him about a larger plot from Hydra."

"I said I wouldn't help him anymore, that he had the information from prior sessions and he knew who he thought was involved, he would have to take it from there because I wasn't going to help him spy on hurting people who trusted me to help them. He said I would be protecting innocent people and I needed to understand that this was the only way - that some people who may look innocent really weren't. I told him that I understood where he was coming from, but collecting information about innocent people _just in case_ they were involved wasn't right - and he was putting people in harms way by ignoring the signs that something big was about to happen. He told me that I worked for him and that I didn't have a choice. I said no again. He threatened my career, I still said no. So, he fired me - no surprise there - and then said that he couldn't trust me to keep SHIELD's secrets, so he got me blacklisted from any government jobs. Or someone did. So, now I work at a coffee shop, and hope I made the right decision."

She looked up from her tea, her hands wrapping around the warm mug, "I hope you can understand why I did what I did. It's not that I didn't want to help, but I could tell that everything Fury was doing, he was doing out of fear. He wasn't being rational about the collateral damage he might cause in all of his plotting."

Norah looked up and Bucky gave her a small smile, then she met Steve's gaze. He was quiet, thinking about everything she had just told him. She held her breath, hoping that he would understand why she hadn't been willing to help. Hoping that he would forgive her for keeping secrets from him. He released a breath, "well, that sounds like something Fury would do." He nodded slightly, "I understand why you didn't want to be involved. I think you made the right choice. Fury... tends to get caught up in the spy game a little too much - and forgets why he's playing it." He reached out and squeezed her outstretched hand with a smile, "I'm proud of you for protecting your clients, and for making that sacrifice for them."


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Hey everyone! Thanks for following along! :) Things are about to get really intense, so stick with me and enjoy the ride! As always, I would love to hear from you! Reviews are most welcome!**

* * *

Norah stood at the window once again. She was beginning to feel like a character out of a sad war movie. Always standing at the window, staring out into the darkness, wishing for her lost love to return.

Only in this case, she was just waiting for pizza delivery. Which could sometimes felt like a lost love... She shook her head, laughing at herself. "If only I were this funny to other people" she murmured to herself with a chuckle as she turned away from the window. Something glinted in the darkness outside the window and Norah paused in her turn, narrowing her eyes to see more. Maybe a dark SUV across the street? She couldn't quite make it out, so she shrugged away the ominous feeling that crawled down her spine. She had been jumpy lately, and for no reason. It seemed like she constantly had that "watched" feeling hovering in the back of her mind, but she knew it was just her imagination. She was a nobody, so why would anyone be watching her? Ever since Steve had pulled Bucky back onto a team, they had been working a lot, which meant that Bucky had essentially moved out of her spare room. "It's just too quiet now, that's all." Norah thought to herself as she walked into the living room and chose an album to play. She had gotten used to having someone around, and an added perk had been that anytime Bucky was around, so was Steve.

"Gotta quit thinking about him like that girl... He has way more important things to do with his time right now" She said to the empty room. "Aaaand you've GOT to stop talking to yourself." She laughed again, rubbing her hands over her face. "So" she thought "what to do with all this spare time..." She glanced around the room, as though to assure herself that it was indeed empty. Walking over to the nook, she unlocked and opened the bottom drawer of her desk, pulling out a thick file. Inside, cleverly hidden among fake clinical notes was all the information she had collected about Hydra during her time at SHIELD. She had turned over copies of all of this to Fury, but had kept a copy herself, feeling as though she was missing something that was right in front of her. She hadn't looked at the file in weeks, but her conversation with Bucky and Steve the other night and gotten her thinking about it again.

Why had Fury been so intent on ignoring the guilty agents right in front of him. Had he known something she didn't? She was reading through the files again, feeling as though a revelation was on the edge of her mind, just waiting for the right trigger to come to light, when suddenly she heard footsteps in the hallway. Her pulse jumped and she stood from her desk, every muscle in her body poised for action. She flinched and almost screamed when she heard a sudden noise.

Then she realized it was a knocking at her door. "Pizza" she chastised herself. "It's just pizza delivery". She took a deep breath to steady herself and walked towards the front door, cash in hand. Checking out the peep hole, sure enough, a teenage boy stood in the hallway in his delivery hat. Pizza box in hand. She sighed again, and shook her head at her own silliness. Unlocking and swinging the door open with a smile.

He just glanced up at her, "extra cheese, spinach, mushrooms, and Italian sausage?" He asked. "$16.49" he said at her nod. She handed him a $20, told him to keep the change, and took the pizza box, swinging the door shut as she closed her eyes and savored the delicious smell wafting up from the cardboard.

"Yum"

Norah's eyes snapped open, because while she had been thinking it, she hadn't said a word. Standing in front of her was a man, all in dark clothing, looking more than a little dangerous. They stared each other down for what seemed like hours, but was actually only a few seconds, then in an instant his hand snapped out to grab her arm. In that same instant Norah threw the open box of pizza right into his face.

Molten cheese and steaming hot sauce splattered all over his face and neck, and she dodged past him to the desk, her hands shaking as she grabbed the gun she kept stashed there for self-defense with one hand, and her phone with the other. Dialing 9-1-1 and tossing the phone down to complete the call itself, she pointed the gun at him as he rushed around the corner of the room. "Stop!" She screamed, his steps faltered as he noticed the 357magnum pointed directly at him. He slowed and stood upright, assessing the situation as they stared at each other over the barrel of the gun.

* * *

Steve was sitting in their makeshift headquarters in Stark/Avengers tower looking through intelligence briefs on different factions of Hydra. It had been a grueling task, but they were beginning to make a dent in all of the different groups across the world. He rubbed his eyes and stretched, just wishing he was home for the evening. Then he blushed a little to himself. Steve had always loved his job. Home had been wherever he could work side by side with his men to make the world better. But he realized just now that he hadn't been thinking of Brooklyn, or his apartment, or basic training or any other place he had previously referred to as home. He had been picturing himself, Bucky, and Norah sitting around her kitchen table laughing over something, or maybe eating dinner. He had been thinking about the way she always put her hand on his shoulder as she walked by his chair, ostensibly so she could squeeze past, or the way she always did little extra things for Bucky (and himself), like picking movies she thought they would like, or driving all the way to Brooklyn for pizza after hearing their favorite pizzeria was still in operation after 70+ years. He tensed at the weight of a hand on his shoulder. The wrong hand.

"Hey man, you're tense. You were a million miles away just now. And you were a million miles away yesterday... and two days before that." Sam pulled up a chair opposite him. "What's up with you?" Steve looked up with a shrug "Nothing, I was just distracted that's all." He sat up in his chair and pulled the files back towards him. "Distracted by what, exactly?" Sam asked, eyes narrowed slightly "Well, she's about 5'5" or 5'6", auburn hair, blue/green eyes, funny, smart, great taste in music, a pretty good dance-" Bucky got cut off by Steve's jacket hitting him in the face. "Cut it out Buck" Steve said. "Wait" Sam stood, walking around the desk, "this is about Norah?! You're into her? That's awesome man!" He cuffed Steve's shoulder. "Have you guys done anything yet? You gonna ask her out?"

Steve stood up, "No, I'm not. We haven't. I won't- " "Why not man? She's great! This would be good for you!" Sam looked to Bucky for backup. "I keep telling him to talk to her, but he won't listen." Bucky said with a shrug "once a dork, always a dork I guess. Even being a super soldier can't help with that" he winked in Steve's direction. Steve just sighed. "listen guys. It's not gonna happen ok. She has been through plenty in her life, up to this point, and most of the bad things have happened because she got involved with SHIELD. I'm not going to drag her back into that. Just drop it." Turned to walk out of the room as Tony and Natasha came through the door, "Well it looks like you don't have a choice, and neither does she." Natasha said. "I keep tabs on the people around us, maybe I'm overprotective, but hey, it's what I do." Tony said. "I've been keeping an eye out for anything either official, or on Hydra's known communication channels about anyone linked to SHIELD. We just got intel about a 9-1-1 call. It came from Norah's cellphone."


	8. Chapter 8

Norah stared the man down, trying her best to keep her breathing steady and her hands from shaking. "Listen, the police are on their way. Just stay there and I won't have to shoot." The man just chuckled. And took a step closer, hands still raised. "I will shoot you if I have to. I don't know what you want, or why you're here, but I will protect myself" she said, trying hard to keep the shiver from her voice. The man laughed again.

And took another step forward.

* * *

Steve was driving like a maniac, his motorcycle weaving between cars and around the shoulders. "Bucky and Sam are right behind you Cap, and they've alerted the police to your position. Someone disabled the location from her phone, so 9-1-1 wasn't able to track it - but having a super genius on your side has it's perks. She's still at home - or her phone is. All they got was a call with no one on the line. The operator said they could hear voices in the background, but couldn't make anything out." Tony said into Steve's earpiece.

"Do you think it's just a coincidence that this is happening now, just after we got intel about a Hydra leader entering the U.S.?" Sam asked over the comms. "Surely she wasn't a target for Hydra. Other than helping Barnes, she wasn't involved with SHIELD at all".

"That's not entirely true." Steve said, grim determination entering his voice. "I'm the one that pulled her back into this though - she should have been safe. I should have made sure of that. Why would they take her now?"

"We'll get to her Steve. We have to." Bucky said.

Steve just leaned down over his handlebars and pushed his bike faster.

* * *

"Who are you?" Norah asked, taking a step back. "What do you want from me? I don't have anything valuable." Genuinely confused, Norah took another step back.

"Oh but you do have something valuable to me... a few things actually" The man said, advancing another step and raking down her body with his eyes. "That's enough!" Norah said, bringing the firearm to focus once again. "If you take another step I _will_ shoot you." Norah took a deep breath to steady herself -

 _Where were the police?_ She looked at her phone on the desk, screen black now, having done it's duty and called for help.

"You think the police will come for you?" He smiled condescendingly.

"They never got your call I'm afraid. Your call went out, but there was some kind of interference before they were able to track your gps location. It's unfortunate for you that they haven't upgraded their systems lately..."

He clicked his tongue and shook his head, smiling once again. Norah glanced out the darkened window, hoping to see blue and red flashing lights, but saw nothing but her own pale reflection, her eyes dark with fear, cheeks wet with tears. She wasn't ready for this. She was young, and she had a family she loved, and a career she loved, or she used to. She was just starting to put her life back together after everything, and then this!

The man took another step forward, inching her into a corner. "You know, it took us a while to realize that you were the source of all the information. Pretty clever, how you dropped off the face of the Earth." He said.

Norah became even more confused - 'dropped off the face of the Earth'? Was this something from her past? The only major life change she had made had been leaving the southwest and moving to D.C. Maybe this was from before she moved here? Something to do with the group her father had worked for? That was the only thing that made sense. "I didn't drop off of anything... I just moved to D.C. Like I said, I don't know who you are or what you want. You must have the wrong person."

"Oh no." He chuckled. "I'm quite sure I have the woman I'm looking for." He gave her another once over and Norah suppressed the urge to cover herself. "Really, whatever you want, just take it and go."

"Well dear, I would do that. I really would. Unfortunately what I want is all bundled up in the little package we call you. So I'll just have to take you along for the ride." He cryptically replied.

If it were possible for her pulse to jump up any higher, it just had. Norah felt the ground under her shifting at his words. Her last chance had been to hand over whatever it was that he was after. She was a strong woman, but she was also realistic. The way he talked, the way he was outfitted, the resources he must have had to pull off the trick with her 9-1-1 call - this man was not alone. He was working with others, and there was no way she could fight off more than one. Maybe she would have had a chance if she knew he was alone, or if she knew exactly who he was working for. She might be able to play on his motives or loyalties - but she didn't know who or what he was. The situation was rapidly progressing toward hopelessness.

Norah wasn't the cheesy romantic type. She knew that things between her and Steve would probably never go anywhere, that's why she kept telling herself to put him out of her head. But even without romance, it had been nice to have someone around, someone like family. Norah didn't have much left in that way, and her brothers were constantly overseas. Having Bucky -and yes Steve- around had felt like she finally had a home, not just an empty apartment. Whatever this man wanted, it wasn't something she owned. He had to want information about Steve, or Bucky, or SHIELD, or Hydra - she just knew it. But knowing that didn't help her situation at all. She was alone, and she was going to have to deal with this man. Alone.

"You'll never shoot me." He said. "We know all about you Norah, we know about your family, we know where your brothers are - don't worry, they'll be taken care of soon - and we know all about the secrets you like to keep locked away in that pretty little head of yours." He took another step towards her "We know that you act tough, but you care about people too much to ever really hurt anyone. No, you won't shoot me. You don't have what it takes to kill a man." Norah turned back from the window, sudden strength running though her body. "I can and I will." She said. "STOP. MOVING."

He paused at the sudden change in her voice, tilting his head to the side, as though considering what it might mean. He began to smile again "You always were a good little actress when you needed to be. I've seen the videos of your musical theater days in college, you know. You've always had an adoring audience in us. Such talent!" He took another step forward "it will be a pity to destroy it" and with that he lunged.

* * *

Steve parked at the curb, glancing around. Everything seemed quiet in her building, but he knew there was something wrong. Knew it in the pit of his stomach. Almost from the first day he had known Norah, Steve had felt connected to her. Like in some way, she was going to change his life. At first he had passed it off as gratitude to her for helping Bucky. Then he had passed it off as simple physical attraction. As time progressed, he had begun to realize that there was more to their relationship than just attraction or gratitude, or even common interests. Norah and Steve had a common goal, to see the world improved, through simple acts of kindness and honor and justice. They both believed in true freedom - for everyone's ability to choose their own destiny and to fight for that same right for others. Steve knew at that moment that what he felt for Norah wasn't just a passing thing - it was something that would last, and he wasn't ready to let that go.

Bucky and Sam pulled up as he began making his way up to her apartment, eyes scanning for anything out of the ordinary. He moved toward the darkened building, straining to hear or see anything that would let him know where she was. Steve glanced back to signal them to stay quiet, when he heard two gunshots in quick succession. His eyes met Bucky's and they both sprinted for the door, smashing through it twenty seconds later. "Norah!" Steve shouted as they rushed to the living room hoping to find Norah alone and safe.

But all they found was an empty apartment and a body on the floor.


	9. Chapter 9

The room was dark. It was impossible to see anything, but somehow she knew the room was empty. It felt empty... and cold.

Norah had no idea how long she had been sitting, chained to a metal chair, shivering with cold. An hour? A day? A week? She had tried counting the minutes, but that idea hadn't lasted very long. The man in her apartment had said they wanted information - that they wanted what she kept "locked up in that pretty head", so why weren't they asking her any questions? Norah shifted in her seat when she heard the clanging of a metal door. Although she should have been terrified of what might be coming toward her, she had been so isolated and so confused that she felt relief coursing through her body at the thought of something changing - an opportunity to get a little information. Relief that quickly changed to terror.

The footsteps that paced down the hallway toward her were measured. Unhurried. Norah's pulse spiked in anticipation of what might come. Images of torture and questioning flashed through her mind, speeding up her breathing even more. Sensing the rising panic within, Norah forced herself to take deep, measured breaths counting them along with the booted steps of the unknown person towards her. It felt as though those feet had been marching for hours instead of brief minutes, when finally Norah saw something. A flicker, and then light shone underneath a door a few yards in front of her. The feet drew nearer and then suddenly the door wrenched open, and the light sprang to life. Norah was blinded by the sudden brightness after sitting so long in the dark, she flinched away, but then strengthened her spine and sat up, blindly squinting toward her captor. Blinking into the light, the spots began to clear from her vision and she saw a man standing in the doorway, quietly observing her. Sitting up a little taller, she stared at him in silence, defiance written on her face.

"You know, I wasn't happy about this at first. I would have preferred to bring you in without a struggle... but now I see that you wouldn't have left us that option would you?"

"Probably not. I've been told I'm a little stubborn." Norah's voice cracked from lack of use.

"Tsk. You must keep your voice healthy my dear. After all, once you've been trained and properly treated, it will be your most valuable possession."

Norah's defiant look crumpled into confusion for a split second before she pursed her lips and tilted her head to the side. "Actually, I've been told I talk too much, so I think I'll take a vow of silence. Or is that too drastic?" She was proud of herself for keeping her voice so calm-although sarcasm had always been a defense mechanism when she was really scared.

The man chuckled and began walking around the edge of the room, circling her. "Now really, you should have a higher opinion of yourself. You couldn't deprive the world of hearing you sing!"

This time Norah noticed his surprising lack of accent. Although she couldn't say why she was surprised. She had just assumed that her captors would be foreign, speak with a thick accent, and wear long black capes. She chuckled at herself before realizing that her sarcasm and sense of humor were just excuses to ignore the thundering of her heartbeat.

"Yeah... Insecurity sucks, but honestly, in today's world of photoshop, airbrushing, and 100 pound models, it's almost impossible for a girl to grow up without a few issues. Besides, I quit performing in college, and while I was pretty good, I'm not sure I understand your devoted admiration." She clucked her tongue "You should get out more - maybe go to a concert or something. I can recommend a few bands you might like." At this point, she decided, if sarcasm was helping in the 'keep from screaming in panic' department, she was going to roll with it.

"You know, I heard that Ben Folds was performing this week on the East Coast. It may not be your style, but he's a fantastic musician. I've got friends with connections, I could probably get you backstage passes... of course, you'd have to let me go first." At this point, she had to crane her neck to see him pacing around behind her. "You look like a guy with a lot of friends. Call them all up, and I'll call mine. We'll make it a group outing." She said. "Oh, but I'll need to borrow your cell-I think I lost mine during the whole kidnapping ordeal."

He made his way back around in front of her, and called something down the hall in a vaguely Eastern European language Norah wasn't familiar with. "So maybe he is foreign after all - or at least someone in his crew is."

More footsteps sounded down the hall, "Oh great!" She said "So your friends are already here. That means we can organize so much faster. If you'll just hand over that phone now, I'll make a few calls..." He chuckled and glanced over a clipboard she had not noticed up until now. "Your wit does you credit" He said, "but I'm afraid we are in a bit of a rush. We will have to get started right away."

"Umm. Started with what exactly? All jokes aside, I don't know what kind of information you're looking for - but maybe you should just ask me before you start getting all weird about it." She knew that she would never willingly give away any information to these people, but she would do anything to stall. She knew in the pit of her stomach that whatever he had planned was going to be worse than she had imagined. A group of people entered the room at that point, and began setting up some sort of work area. A few walked over to her and untied her hands, wrenching her to her feet and dragging her toward another chair. "Oh my dear" he said "the information you have is really only a secondary goal for us. You'll tell me everything you know eventually - but first, you get the honor of pioneering something entirely new. We're going to make you a star!" He smiled at her as she struggled against the men holding her and then turned away.

"Strap her down!" He commanded to his assistants as a struggling Norah was thrust into a reclining chair and bound into immobility.

* * *

The popping sound grew louder as he progressed down the dim hallway. He could hear the panting breaths in between the cadenced pop of flesh against canvas. Bucky came around the corner to find Steve - as expected - furiously beating another punching bag into submission. That dark, unvisited corner of his mind reared up at the sight. That part of him recognized the pain and confusion and feeling of being completely lost that was written all over Steve's face. Bucky pushed the dark thoughts away and sighed. Steve glanced up at the sound, but went back to his punching bag without saying a word. "You know, if you had trained like this _before_ you got the serum, you might have gotten beaten up less." Bucky said drawing closer and putting a hand on the bag. Steve just quirked an eyebrow. "I'm serious. You could have saved me a lot of trouble by getting _yourself_ out of a few scrapes... of course, you could have saved me a lot of trouble by not getting into them in the first place..." He leaned against the bag now, arms crossed.

"No one asked you to check on me then, and no one is asking you now." Steve growled, hitting the bag again.

"Yeah, see, that's the thing about _friends_. We don't have to be asked." He looked up at his closest friend in the world. "Steve. Stop for a minute. Please, just talk to me."

Steve rolled his neck and sighed. "Talk about what?" he asked, dropping his hands and finally walking away from the punching bag. "It's been three months and we haven't found a thing. _Not a single lead_." He sat down, dropping his head down between his hunched shoulders. Bucky hated seeing him like this. The one thing you could always count on with Steve was his persistence. He was never defeated, not really. "Steve, I know. But we just have to keep looking. Something will turn up, but we can't quit now."

"Who said anything about quitting?!" Steve raised his head to meet Bucky's gaze. "I will find her if it takes the rest of my life." He stood and began pacing the room. "That's good" Bucky said, "so then what are you doing down here?" Steve stopped pacing and faced Bucky with his hands held out in front of him. "Because I don't know what else to do Buck. I'm a soldier, not a detective. Everyone is talking to their sources, or scanning radiowaves, or whatever else they can do, and I'm just stuck. My job was to protect her, to keep her safe - maybe even to rescue her, but I can't do that if I don't know where she is! What am I supposed to do - go door to door?"

Bucky sighed, he knew the feeling of helplessness was bearing down on his friends shoulders, and he could hear the loss of strength in his voice, but what solution could he offer? He was in the same position. Suddenly he looked up. "Actually, that might not be a bad idea..."

"Door to door canvassing? This isn't a joke Buck." Steve sighed and looked up.

"No - listen, We think Hydra is the one that took her right? Or someone linked to Hydra?"

Steve looked at him curiously "Well, yes... it seems the most likely - no, the only real option. No one else would have a reason to take Norah." Even through the stress and pain in his voice, Bucky could hear the slight softening that happened when Steve said her name out loud.

"So we take down Hydra. Just like before."

"What are you talking about?" Steve asked.

"Before Norah was taken, we were ferreting out all of Hydra's old bases and labs, making sure everything was cleared out right?" Steve just narrowed his eyes. "So we keep doing that. We question everyone we find, go through any files or communications. We wipe Hydra off the map. Door to door."

"You realize the likelihood of us finding anything useful, or finding Norah, are slim to none. Even those bases we raided before had been stripped clean for the most part. Just base personnel and minimal records." Although he sounded skeptical, Bucky could hear the strength returning to his voice.

"So what. Anything helps right? And we will have something to do - at least until Natasha or Tony finds something on Norah's location." Bucky put a hand on Steve's shoulder. "I know you care about her man, but you're not alone in this. She's my friend too, and Sam's. We're going to do everything we can to find her and bring her home."

Steve took a deep breath and looked up. New determination coloring his eyes. "Then I guess we should get started."


	10. Chapter 10

Norah clenched her jaw and focused on her breathing. "Do not scream. Do not scream. Do not scream." She chanted in her head, shouting at herself over the sounds of machinery. The metallic whine slowed to a halt, and she sagged in relief - knowing it wouldn't last.

"Now. Try again." the doctor - as she had taken to calling her captor - said.

She focused on the young man trembling in front of her and swallowed. "You're getting sleepy... veeery sleeepy." She intentionally whispered, acting as though she had to croak the words out through parched, cracked lips. He glanced around in confusion, waiting for something to happen, and then sighed when nothing did. Norah glanced up at the doctor and shrugged, "You know, I'm thinking maybe we should set the mood first." She said, still at a soft, raspy whisper. "Some soft music, a few candles - you know, ambiance."

A crony stepped forward and slapped her, hitting her hard enough for her head to ricochet off of the chair back. "Funny" the doctor said "always chattering away, thinking you're so clever. Until I apply the treatment. Then, suddenly, you're so quiet. I wonder why that is." He smirked at her, and nodded to the assistant. "Turn it up - we'll just keep trying until it works again." He said. Norah heard the metallic whine spinning up again, and closed her eyes, clenched her jaw, and focused on a memory that would take her away from here.

She had no idea how long it had been since her capture, but it felt as though these "treatments" the doctors was subjecting her to had been going on for years. She could barely remember a time when she wasn't in pain, or darkness. They had asked her questions at first - injecting her with all sorts of drugs and chemicals, even using radiation therapy of some sort. She had just focused on keeping her mouth shut. It was the only thing she could think to do. She knew that if she opened her mouth, even just to weep or beg, she wouldn't be able to withstand the pain any longer. She would tell them everything she knew - everything she could do. She couldn't do that. They couldn't know that it had worked. She just had to hang on. She didn't know where she was, how long she had been here, or what they were trying to accomplish by these experiments, but she knew one thing: Someone was looking for her. She knew without a doubt that Steve, her brothers (if they knew) Bucky and Sam, maybe even Natasha - they were all coming for her. She knew they wouldn't stop looking, so she refused to stop holding out for them to come. So she closed her eyes and her mouth, and dreamed of home.

Norah felt the pain begin, that screaming, burning sensation liquefying her bones and muscles until she felt like a ball of pure energy. Painful, burning, white hot energy. She stepped inside her mind and closed the door behind her. Norah painted a picture in her mind of her home. _Steve was there, smiling at her in that charming, boyish way. The sun was shining in through the window, glinting off of the golden streaks in his hair. From the kitchen she heard laughter and then Bucky and her brothers stepped through the doorway, shoving and kidding each other like highschoolers. Steve reached out and took her hand, and she smiled at him, feeling the warmth of his skin on her palm. They were a family, all of them. Laughter and fellowship were the staples of their lives. She wasn't alone in this world, she had people around her who loved her, and she loved them. Then a sweet little girl came running down the hallway, followed by her mother and leapt directly into Norah's brother's arms shouting "daddy!". Norah smiled, her brothers were home safe, they had families and lives that didn't involve constant danger. The little girl then walked over with a finger in her mouth. "Tell me a story unca Steve" she said with a little lisp. He squeezed Norah's hand before letting go, and then lifted her up into his lap. "Well... what kind of story would you like to hear?" "Wizards! and the Tin Man!" she shouted, bouncing up and down. Steve laughed and caught Norah's eye with a shake of his head. "Ok, Wizards. Again." Then suddenly the smoke alarm in the kitchen started to go off._ _It was blaring - loudly -_ _with red, flashing lights_ \- Norah jolted out of her hallucination as the machines suddenly cut off. The doctor looked around and began shouting commands in that same language he always used with the others. Men began rushing about, grabbing weapons and heading out the door.

"It seems we might have some unexpected company" the doctor said to Norah. "I hope you don't mind the interruption while I attend to my new guests. Not to worry though, I'll be back shortly, so we can continue our lesson. I'm quite certain my dear, that you are holding something back, but not to worry. I have methods to help you defeat your shyness." With that he turned on his heel and rushed to the door.

* * *

Five months since Norah had been taken. Two since they had begun clearing every Hydra base they could locate, but something about this one felt different. Steve knew there was something here - he could feel it. There were more defenses, the base was clearly guarded by troops, not to mention the field Tony was trying to bring down.

"Loki's scepter must be here. Strucker couldn't mount his defense without it. At long last." Thor said.

"At long last is lasting a little long boys" Natasha replied.

"Yeah, I think we lost the element of surprise" Clint said.

As the battle continued, a flash of something caught his eye before he was hit in the legs, his feet flying out from beneath him. Steve was able to flip and land upright, searching the area for whatever hit him. "We have an enhanced in the field." He said grimly. Although he knew this was an added obstacle, it only reinforced his feeling that this base was important. This base might actually hold a clue to where Norah was being held. If she was still ok. He refused to think about the idea that she was gone. Hydra wouldn't have taken all the trouble of kidnapping her if they were just going to kill her, and if they had, they would have let him know. They would have gloated.

No. They were using her for information, he knew it was the only thing that made sense, and if that was the case, he knew she wouldn't tell them anything without a fight. He loved her for it, and hated that it might cause her more pain. The longer he took to find her, the more time they had to try and break her. After what they had done to Bucky, Steve knew they had methods of taking control of someone's mind. He hadn't been able to protect Bucky, but he wouldn't allow that to happen to Norah.

The battle began to wrap up, as he sent Thor to get the injured Barton to the jet and Natasha to get Banner, Steve and Tony infiltrated the base. Meeting that enhanced in the field only strengthened his feeling that this base was important. They were here for the scepter, but he prayed they found more than that.

Steve found Strucker and encountered another enhanced, she packed quite a punch, but he was able to take Strucker into custody. No matter what they threw at him, he wasn't willing to leave. He would search this base from top to bottom until he found the scepter, and then he would search it again until he found something that pointed him toward Norah.

* * *

"Help me" Norah rasped out to the other captive - still trembling in front of her. "Untie me - please!" She begged, pulling against her restraints as the sound of the alarm mingled with the sound of explosions and gunfire above them. He shook his head, glancing around them. He moaned slightly, but looked away from her, slowly backing toward the door. Too afraid of what might happen to help her. Or simply too afraid of her. Norah begged once more - "Please! I need your help. Those are my friends up there (she truly hoped they were). They can help us, but you have to let me go." He only shook his head again and began moving away.

Norah took a few steadying breaths, pushing the pain and fatigue of the last few months aside to focus on him, she stopped forcing a raspy whisper, stopped focusing on keeping her voice in check and holding everything in. " _Stop_ " she said. Her voice sounding clearly through the room, and vaguely alien in her ears. The man froze, turning slowly toward her with a vacant look in his eyes. " _Untie me. Now_." She said - her heart breaking as she saw that it was working. Knowing that she had just chosen her own cause over whatever life this man had. He walked toward her, a soft smile on his face changing to adoration as he drew closer to her. Releasing her from her bonds, he gazed at her, murmuring, pleading, asking her for something in a language she couldn't understand. " _Now go home. Forget about me, and live your life as you did before. Be happy. Please._ " Norah said with a sigh. The man resisted for a moment, looking confused, but then turned and walked toward the door. Never looking back.

Norah took a deep breath, clenched her jaw at the pain, and walked toward the doorway. Toward her freedom.


	11. Chapter 11

Tony had found the scepter, and by the sound of his voice, plenty more. Mission complete. Steve knew they needed to get Barton back to the tower for medical care, but he just couldn't leave yet. He felt to his very core that there was something more here. Something he was missing. He had told himself he wouldn't leave until he found a clue to lead him to Norah, but now he had the responsibility of taking care of his team. He couldn't put them in danger for the sake of his search.

"Ok everyone, draw back to the jet. Tony and I will meet you there."

Bucky, who had been playing sniper and keeping quiet during the battle, was the only one willing to ask - "Nothing about Norah?"

"No. Meet us at the jet." Steve's voice was grim, and back at the jet, everyone shared a glance at the sound of the barely concealed frustration and pain in their leader's voice. Then the com crackled back to life "Wait. I hear something. I'm going to check it out."

* * *

Norah's legs were shaking, her arms felt like they were tied to cinderblocks, and her breathing was ragged. She felt like she had been walking for hours, stumbling along in the dim underbelly of the Hydra base, long hallway after long hallway all leading to nowhere. Finally she found something that gave her a little hope.

Stairs.

Norah knew that Hydra must have pulled out, but her heart still pounded at the thought of being found by any of the agents or doctors from the past months. The sounds of the battle had ended, and the hallways were deserted, that had to mean that whoever had attacked the base had won - right? That, or all of the Hydra agents were upstairs celebrating their victory. Upstairs, waiting for her to come stumbling out of some hallway and end her escape. She shook her head, trying to clear some of the fog that had clouded her mind for what seemed like forever. Between the drugs and the pain and lack of sleep, Norah could barely think - but she knew that she was underground, which meant that stairs were the way out - even if Hydra was waiting above, she had to try.

She half climbed, half crawled up the dimly lit stairway, stopping to rest every few minutes. The adrenaline coursing through her could only do so much to counteract the sheer exhaustion her body was battling. Finally, she reached the top of the stairs to find a dead end. Literally, a brick wall. Even in her fogged up brain, Norah knew there must be a door, but no amount of pushing or searching could get her through. Suddenly she just couldn't take it anymore. All of the pain of the past welled up, her hope to escape, everything came crashing down on her. She pushed and beat the wall, sobbing and kicking and throwing herself against it before finally collapsing in defeat - all of her hope and effort ending up on the floor with a loud thump.

* * *

Steve had heard something - a soft thump. He couldn't be sure, but it was coming from inside the walls - probably nothing, an animal or falling rubble, but he had to know - and he was determined to find it. Even if he had to send the others home without him. This was more than just his heightened senses, it was something he felt in the core of his being. This was the same thing he had felt when fighting Bucky on that carrier, that sense that Bucky was still there - inside the winter soldier. He had to trust it.

Wary of the possible enemy agents that might still be hiding in the base, Steve edged his way down the hallway toward the sound. Behind one of these walls, he knew he would find something - he just wasn't sure what. "Stark" he said into his com "can you get to me - I could use your suit's sensors about now."

"Already here" Tony replied, before entering the other end of the hallway behind him. "What did you hear?"

"Over there - on the other side of that wall. It could have been something falling or dropping. Maybe a door shutting, but muffled. Think you can scan for any warm bodies?"

Stark took a brief scan of the room to ensure they were alone, "Huh - well your ears are pretty good for a nonagenarian. That far wall is definitely reinforced."

"Finding anything?"

"Not yet, let me enhance it - yep. There!" Tony pointed to the wall as Steve rushed over "What is it? A person? A room?"

"Someone - still alive, but they're down. Can't tell much more. I think they're starting to move around."

Steve was at the wall. His heart pounding with the knowledge that everything he had been looking for might be right on the other side of that wall. He pulled back his fist to crush through and paused. What if it was nothing? Just another prisoner of war, or a civilian, or an agent? How much longer could he endure the constant disappointments? He took a deep breath and shook his head slightly. As long as he had to in order to find her. He wasn't giving up. Now or ever.

* * *

Norah thought she heard something - a voice maybe? She groggily pushed herself up again, steeling her resolve. She had held out for this long under torture and pain - she wasn't the type to give up. She wasn't going to let them break her. Gritting her teeth, Norah pushed herself to stand, and backed away from the wall, scanning it for any type of lever, catch, or keypad. Anything that might open the door. There! Up in the corner, she saw something - some sort of security lock - but how was she going to open it. She stood on her toes to inspect it closer, and reached up, tapping it with her fingernail. Then the wall exploded.

* * *

Steve punched through the stone wall with one blow, pushing his way through the opening - eyes frantically scanning for movement. The dust created a dim cloud, difficult to see through. "There's nothing here!" He called back to Tony in frustration. Then he heard a cough.

"Was that really necessary?" Whispered a tired voice from his left. He felt like his heart had stopped. No. For the first time in months - he felt like his heart had finally started beating again. He knew that voice. Tired, raspy, cracking, it didn't matter. He knew that voice. His fists un-clenched and he rose from a defensive crouch, turning toward the voice. Turning toward her.

"Sorry about the mess." He said, one side of his mouth quirking up in a smile. He reached a hand toward her. "I knocked, but you didn't answer."

She just smiled at him. And collapsed.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello all! Wanted to say thanks again for hanging in there - this is a long journey, but we're definitely coming to a middle ;)**

 **I appreciate all the support, reviews, etc. You're the best! I hope everyone has a wonderful new year, and sticks with me to see how Norah's story wraps up!**

* * *

Norah opened her eyes to rocking motion and a wall of dirty blue fabric.

She was in a ship covered with blue fabric.

Her breathing began to accelerate - where were they taking her? What could they possibly want with her now? Why did she feel so warm?

Wait, that wasn't right, was it? She shouldn't feel so cradled in the belly of a Hydra ship.

Then she remembered the alarms, the long climb up the stairs, and the wall exploding. "Steve" she breathed out as she realized she was being carried. Her heartbeat slowed back down, as she realized she had been rescued. They had finally come for her.

She twisted her head around, peering up for a view of something other than blue, but just met more blue. Eyes that is. And at that moment, more than any other, they were the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen.

The edges crinkled up, half-smiling, half-concerned. "Hey, you're ok Norah. I'm going to get you home." Norah began looking around, catching sight of a winter-draped forest as they made their way through the trees. "Are you in any pain?" Norah felt his words more than heard them, as they rumbled through his chest. She just swallowed and gently shook her head side to side. She was too relieved to feel any pain at this point. "Norah, can you tell me what they wanted? What they did to you?" Norah wanted to answer, but she felt so comfortable, and so tired. Even blinking felt like it took effort, so she just sighed as her eyelids began to droop again. "Ok, it's ok. Hang in there a little bit longer. Stay with me for a little while longer." Steve's voice began to sound more and more concerned as his arms tightened around her. "Norah? Can you hear me? Stay with me" his voice almost sounded like a warning now. The kind a parent might give to a child who was running out in the street. The kind so full of concern that the threat of punishment is almost laughable.

"Mmmnot goin' nnnywhere. Mmm jjusstssleepy." She whispered, as her head began to roll closer to his chest. Steve sighed in relief, and almost chuckled. "Ok then. You rest. I'll be right here when you wake up." Norah felt his arms tighten around her slightly, almost like the promise of a hug, and then drifted away again. Only this time, she felt completely safe.

* * *

As they neared the jet, Tony went up ahead to get ready to leave, and to brief the rest of the team about Norah. Steve followed more slowly, cradling her to his chest. She was weak, exhausted, bruised, and who knows what else - but she didn't seem to be seriously injured. For that Steve breathed a sigh of relief, but he could only wonder if she was only minimally harmed physically, what had Hydra been doing with her all of that time? He could only try _not_ to imagine, and wait until Norah could get checked out completely. As he boarded, Natasha had already cleared a place for Norah against the wall - Barton was in worse shape as far as they could tell, and needed to stay put. Steve nodded his thanks and placed Norah gently on the pallet, draping a blanket over her now shivering form. He sat back and eyed her critically. She was thin - too thin, and there, what he had feared. Tiny pricks, running up and down the inside of both arms. Needle marks. He felt a presence next to him and turned slightly to find Bucky peering over his shoulder.

"How is she?" He asked. Obvious fear in his voice. He had recovered more and more memories of his time with Hydra, and he knew what they could do to a person. "I think she's ok, but..." Steve's voice trailed off as he reached out and turned her arm slightly, revealing the evidence of drugging - or worse - to Bucky. "I had Tony leave behind a few drones to conduct a search of the area, maybe find where they were holding her, or anything that might tell us what they were doing."

Bucky's jaw clenched at the sight of her arms, and his eyes met Steve's. "We don't know anything yet", he said "and Norah is strong. We just have to wait till she can tell us herself, or until the drones find something." He sounded as though he were trying to convince himself as much as Steve. It didn't matter though, he was right. Steve nodded firmly and stood to check in with the rest of the team.

Aside from Clint's injuries, everyone was well. Thor was energized, finally having completed the mission and found the scepter. Bruce was slightly less enthusiastic - "I wasn't prepared for a code green" Steve overheard him say. Agent Hill had been in touch, and they were finally headed home. Steve took a deep breath, his gaze returning to Norah's prone figure.

Bruce came over to his side, kneeling next to Norah - "how is she?" his question was directed over his shoulder at Steve, who could only shrug and sigh in response.

"She seems... ok. Which doesn't make a lot of sense." Steve finally said. Banner's gaze drifted over to Bucky, who had taken up residence at Norah's feet. "I know what you mean" he said grimly as he gently checked her over, noting the needle tracks inside her arms and taking her pulse. "Her pulse and breathing are fine", he said almost to himself "and there are no broken bones or obvious sign of injury..." He sat back on his heels. "So why do you look so concerned?" He said, looking up at Steve.

He only clenched his jaw. He had no response. Should he just take the win? Was he turning into Fury - trusting nothing?

Mission complete. So why did it feel like they had missed something? He shrugged the feeling away for now, it was time to go home.


	13. Chapter 13

**Once again, thank you all for your support as this story develops! I know it is often a long wait between updates, and I appreciate your patience! Sometimes between work and my dissertation, I just don't have the energy to write anything else! I promise that I won't leave you hanging though! The next few chapters are kinda... fluffy. ;) I'll be spending them developing Norah and Steve's relationship, but not to worry! The AoU story will continue in due course. Thanks again, you're the best!**

* * *

Hours later, as they neared New York and the Tower, Norah began to rouse from her slumber. She squinted against the light, and brought a hand up to rub her eyes, catching Bucky's attention.

"Hey" he said, his voice low and gruff, "how are you feeling?"

She grimaced and exhaled slowly turning her head side to side "I think... I'm ok" she said, her voice sounding slightly off. Norah began to push herself up into a sitting position and felt a hand on her back, helping her adjust. She swallowed and shook a look of pain from her face - glancing up at Steve, who had overheard them speaking from the front of the jet and come back to check in.

"Thanks for the rescue soldier." she said, giving a mock salute.

Steve's check quirked up in that sideways smirk she loved so much "Well I would say 'it was my pleasure'", he said "but to be honest, I would prefer to never do that again."

"Really? I thought you loved punching through walls. I could have sworn it was one of your favorite things" Norah said, again shaking off a grimace of pain.

"Oh it's not the punching he hates. Trust me." Bucky chimed in from his perch at her feet "It's all the running around. I'm telling you - when we were kids, I couldn't get him to _stop_ punching things... or people. Mostly people... and of course by 'punching' I mean getting punched..." He grinned at her, "but he always hated to run. No matter who was chasing him. I'm pretty sure the asthma was just an excuse not to run..." Norah chuckled and Steve just rolled his eyes.

"Right... yeah. So it's 'make fun of the asthmatic day' huh?" Steve shook his head. "No, really. You're hilarious." He said dryly. Rolling his eyes, Steve turned back to Norah "It wasn't the punching I hope to avoid..." he trailed off, looking a little sheepish. At this, Bucky stood and stretched, muttering something about checking in with Tony and moving off toward the front of the jet. Watching him go, Steve felt a light touch on his shoulder "yes?" Norah's voice sounded almost hopeful, but then she gritted her teeth and sucked in a breath, obviously in pain.

"What is it? Where does it hurt?" Steve was instantly all business, looking her over with a critical eye, although his heart threatened to thump out of his chest in panic. Norah just stretched her neck and turned back to him, patting his leg. "Nothing, I'm fine." She smiled, but Steve could still see the pain in her eyes.

He could see that something was wrong... something more than just physical, but she wasn't ready to tell him yet, and although he wanted nothing more than to hold her and smooth the darkness in her eyes away, he realized that Norah had to take the first step. He had seen enough of trauma to understand that this was not the time to push her too hard.

Steve met her eyes, all of this running through his mind, and then reached out to take her hand. "You know that I will do anything to protect you. You're safe now, and it's going to be ok." He said, squeezing her hand. Again, she smiled at him, returning the pressure of his hand, and leaned her head back against the wall. "Thank you." She whispered, and let her eyes drift shut.

* * *

It had only been a day since the rescue, but after seeing to Barton, Dr. Cho had given Norah a thorough examination and reported no major injuries - only a few bumps and bruises. Norah had refused any further medical attention, insisting that she just wanted to go home. Steve had walked her to her door, entering and checking the apartment, windows and locks for her as she stood in the doorway with a haunted look on her face.

"I can stay" he said, gently guiding her onto the couch by the elbow. "I've slept on this couch many times you know. Sometimes I miss it." He said with humor in his eyes. Norah looked up at him then, her desire to take him up on his offer plainly written on her face.

"No." She said, looking down and away, as though drawing her eyes from his was an effort. "Thank you, but no."

"Norah," he said softly, turning toward her and ducking down to meet her eyes "It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's natural to be scared or nervous. Let me stay - watch over you." The sincerity in his eyes almost made her give in, but once again she shook her head.

"No." She closed her eyes briefly, and then looked up at him. "If I don't face it now, I never will." She said. "I haven't been alone since I was taken, and if I give into the fear now, it will control me. I don't want to live my life dependent on anyone. Not even someone I lo-" she caught herself, realizing that although in the months of her captivity she had realized the depths of her feelings for Steve, they had never talked beyond friendship. "Not even someone I know I can always depend on" she amended, seeing a flash of something in his eyes.

Steve nodded slowly. It was the most he had heard her speak since he found her, and he could tell the effort was draining. Norah had shown him time and time again her inner strength, it was something he loved about her, respected in her, but in this moment, he wanted to grab her by the shoulders and tell her that she didn't need to be strong anymore. That he would be strong for her. Just for a while.

The urge seized him so violently that he had to concentrate to keep himself from reaching for her. "I understand" he said, his voice sounding almost strangled with the effort of pushing the words through the tightness of his throat. "Get some rest, ok? I'll check in with you tomorrow, and call me if you need anything." He said rising and walking toward the door. She nodded and stood, watching him go, clenching her hands in front of her - in an effort to calm her nerves, or to keep from reaching out for him - even she wasn't sure.

"Norah?" She glanced up, realizing that he was at the door, stepping through and looking back at her. "I mean _anything._ " He said. She just nodded and offered him a quiet smile. Breathing deeply in and releasing the breath all at once as the door closed behind him.

 _"I would give you everything"_ echoed in his mind as he walked away.


	14. Chapter 14

The next afternoon Steve arrived at Norah's apartment. Anxious to see her and reassure himself that she really was back, he had wanted to rush over that morning, but had waited till later in the day, giving her a chance to rest and be alone. Bucky had pestered him all morning from New York, asking how she was and wanting to check on her, but Steve had insisted that she needed to be left alone. It took all of his willpower to give her space, but that was what she thought she needed, and he wasn't going to push her.

Knowing this was true didn't make waiting any easier.

Finally deciding that he had given her enough time, and receiving no response to his phone call, he headed to her apartment, not far from where he had been staying in D.C. Knocking lightly on her door, he waited a few moments for her to answer. Then he knocked again, harder.

"Norah?" He called, through the locked door. He knocked a third time, trying to keep his heart rate from speeding up any more.

"Norah?" he called again, louder.

Pulling out a set of keys, he quickly located the one she had given him when Bucky had been staying there. Pushing open the door he called out again, desperate to make sure she was ok, but not wanting to scare her if she was, he made his way through the living room. Nothing was out of place, and no one was in the kitchen or dining areas.

"Norah, are you home?" He called again, feeling his pulse thump through his veins, his breathing speeding up slightly. Then he heard the sound of running water from the bathroom. Relief flooded through him, and reassuring himself that she simply hadn't heard him because she was in the shower, he rapped his knuckles against the wooden frame and called through the door.

"Norah, it's Steve. Um... I was just stopping by to check on you, I'll be in the living room when you get out." He turned away from the door then, when he heard her call out.

"Steve?" her voice was weak, and he heard a rustle as the door swung open.

"Norah, are you ok?" He turned back toward the bathroom and stepped through the open door, a crease in his forehead and concern in his eyes.

She sat just outside the walk-in shower, fully clothed, but soaked through, her teeth chattered slightly as she sat, shaking, dripping, and breathing hard, her head leaning back against the wall.

Steve drew in a quick, hissing breath. "What happened, what do you need?" He sprang into action, snatching a towel from the shelf and wrapping her in it, crouching in front of her to look into her face. He reached up to brush the damp hair from her forehead and drew in another quick breath. "You have a fever, and you're shaking like a leaf. When did this start?"

"This morning" She said between spasms, "I think it's just withdrawal from whatever they gave me" she shuddered again, and he reached out, pulling her toward him and lifting her up. "Th-th-the cold show-shower helped bring d-down the fever." She said as he began rubbing her down with another towel, drying her hair and arms. "You should have called me." He said, grimly, "or called someone!"

"I d-didn't want anyone t-t-to overreact. I don't wan-n-n't to go to the hospital."

"Norah," Steve's voice was gently rebuking "They're there to help. They could make this a lot easier on y-"

"NO." Steve was taken aback by the force of her voice. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it, making him meet her eyes. "I can't. I can't be in a hospital right now. The needles and the machines..." She shuddered from more than the chill, dark memories racing behind her eyes. "It's too much. I just... _Please_." Still shaking, she pleaded with her eyes.

Steve clenched his jaw at the pain he saw there. The fear. Sighing, he finally released her hand. "Ok. I understand, but you have to let me help you." She nodded an affirmative to this, still shivering and miserable, but relief showing in her eyes.

"First things first, now that your fever is down, we have to get you warm and dry" Steve was once again drying her off and wrapping her in a fresh towel. He pushed her down to sit again and stepped out of the door, returning moments later with fresh clothing. Helping her stand, he pulled the towels away and met her eyes. His checks slightly flushed, he took her by the shoulders. "You need to get out of those wet clothes, but you can barely stand up on your own, much less change" he said with a frown. "Do you trust me to help you? Is... is that ok, or should I call someone?" He looked slightly sheepish, but mostly concerned.

She smiled weakly at this "Of course I trust you" she leaned her cheek on his hand, still resting on her shoulder "more than anything".

He paused, and his hand lifted slightly to brush across her skin, his eyes tracing the lines of her face. Then another violent shiver wracked her body as she squeezed her eyes shut and he shook his head, setting his jaw and getting back to the task at hand. Pulling the soaked and clinging fabric from her shivering body, he ignored the tightening of his throat at the sight of her bruised and emaciated body, and focused instead on keeping her covered and warm.

Minutes later, clothed in dry sweats and a t-shirt, Norah sat wrapped in a blanket on the couch in the living room. Her body continued to shake, and the lights pierced her eyelids, shooting pain through her head. Her throat was dry, her tongue felt swollen, and she was so weak it was a major effort just to lift her head. She didn't remember ever being quite this miserable, with the exception of the Hydra base.

Steve entered from the kitchen with a steaming mug of tea and dry toast, which he placed on the coffee table before reaching out and pressing his hand against her head. "Fever seems to be staying down" he said, "but you're still shaking." He rubbed his hands up and down her arms, warming her through the blanket.

"Tremors are a pretty common symptom of withdrawal" She replied ruefully, and then moaned slightly, hunching forward and pressing her palms to her temples. Steve's arm came around her back, his hand pressing gently against the tension in her shoulders. As the pain lessened somewhat, Norah lifted her head.

"Here." Steve handed her a few painkillers and offered her the hot tea. Norah took the pills from his hand and was instantly offered the toast. "You need to eat, or you're just going to get weaker" he said, still rubbing her back gently. "This may be a long couple of days, and you need to keep up your strength."

She glanced up at him, taking a tentative bite out of the toast and forcing it down with a sip of tea. "How did you get so good at taking care of people?" She asked with a tremulous smile.

"Well, let's just say I've had a lot of experience being sick and miserable, so I know what helps" Steve replied with a self-conscious shrug and a quirk of his lips, taking the empty plate from her and placing it back on the table. He turned to her again, this time lifting his hand to brush her cheek, "it hurts me to see you like this" he said, so softly she almost didn't hear it. Her misery filled eyes met his once again as tears gathered in their green depths and she hunched forward with a moan.

"I just want it to stop" she cried, hunching forward again "I just want to take something, to disappear into oblivion. To go back to that place where I couldn't feel anything - but I can't, I can't let them win. I won't let them break me. I won't give them that..." All this came out in a jumble of words, interspersed with gasps of pain and sobbing breaths.

"No." Steve said finally, grasping her shoulders and pulling her into his chest. "You won't, because you are stronger than them. You're my incredible, strong, independent, amazing, caring Norah, and you're going to get through this." He rocked her as she cried, pulling herself closer to his warmth, to the safety of his arms. Sitting sideways across his legs, she clung to one arm, the other wrapped around her back, face tucked into his shoulder. She felt his breath against her neck as she clenched her teeth against the pain.

"Shh.." he said in response to her shuddering groans "I've got you. It's going to get better, and I'm staying right here until it does."

Slowly, the pain began to lessen, the tremors still shaking her body occasionally, as she sank into the safety of Steve's embrace, and let herself get lost in the overwhelming weariness that followed.


	15. Chapter 15

Once again, Norah opened her eyes to a wall of blue fabric. She blinked into the piercing sunlight, and her head throbbed as she began to lift it.

"Don't you ever wear anything but blue?" she mumbled, pulling away to look up at Steve, and getting tangled in the blanket he had pulled over her.

"Yeah" his voice rumbled in his chest, "sometimes I wear red and white" he said with a smirk.

"Hilarious." Norah pulled away further and pressed her palm to her forehead with a soft hiss. "Still in a lot of pain?" he asked, concern causing a crease to form between his eyebrows. "your fever is pretty well gone, and the tremors stopped a while ago..."

"You sat here all night?" she asked, squinting and tasting the morning breath on her tongue, "Um, in a manner of speaking..." he replied, helping her to her feet, and stretching his back. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, swaying slightly when his hand left her arm. The hand was immediately replaced to steady her as he shrugged "Well, you've been delirious or asleep off and on for almost two days."

"What?!" she blinked up at him again, rubbing her eyes. "You... you stayed the whole time?" He looked at her askance "Of course." He said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world to personally care for someone for two days, putting your entire life on hold. "You didn't think I would leave?"

"Well, no. No, I suppose not." She smiled slightly. Then she winced again. "That headache isn't quite gone is it? Why don't you relax for a bit, and I'll get you something for it, and make you something to eat." he said, pressing her arm with one hand. She nodded with a strange look in her eyes, "I guess I'll get a quick shower" she said, heading off toward the bathroom. "And Steve?" he looked up at this, waiting for her to finish "...thank you." she finally said. Turning away.

* * *

Walking into the bathroom, Norah closed the door behind her, leaning against it and sliding down to the floor. _This couldn't be happening_ , she thought. _The drugs were out of her system. She should be back to normal!_ Her heart rate was speeding up as she tried not to panic. The pain was still there, all the noise that just wouldn't stop.

 _There's one way to make it stop_. A voice whispered in the back of her mind, but she immediately shook the thought away. She would _not_ give in again. She would never allow what they did to her hurt anyone else. She heard the clatter of a pan as Steve busied himself in the kitchen. _Especially not him. No._

Norah pushed herself to her feet and stripped her clothes off, stepping into the shower. She could control this, and she would control this. She could take the pain, but she couldn't bear what might happen if she made the pain stop.

* * *

"Her fever is gone and she seems to be doing a lot better..." Steve spoke into the phone as he heated butter into a pan on the stove.

"But...?" Bucky's concern echoed through the phone lines. This woman had played a huge role in keeping him sane, he owed her everything, and had come to love her as a sister. He could tell from the way Steve's last comment had drifted away that something was wrong.

"But what Steve... What's going on with our girl?"

Steve sighed into the phone, glancing back down the hallway at the sound of water shutting off in the bathroom. "She's still in pain, a lot of pain. I thought maybe it was just a headache... lingering effects of the drug withdrawal, but now I'm not so sure."

Bucky was silent for a moment, considering this "What made you change your mind?" he finally asked.

Again, Steve just shook his head, then realizing Bucky couldn't see the gesture he sighed again. "I don't know Buck. It's almost like she's afraid of something, or hiding something. I can't quite put my finger on it."

"Well of course she's afraid, she was just rescued from captivity for cryin' out loud!" Bucky sounded slightly exasperated.

"It's more than that Buck. She's not afraid of someone coming after her... It's not even nightmares or flashbacks - at least not yet - it's like she is afraid of the pain itself. Like the headache scares her or ... I don't know! There's something else going on though. I can just tell." Steve ran a hand through his dark blond hair in a gesture of frustration.

"Ok. ok. I get it." Bucky said in a slightly placating tone. "Hey, if you think there is something else going on, I trust you."

"Thank you. I'm sorry to be so vague, I just..." Again Steve's voice drifted away, not knowing exactly how to express the concern, love, fear, and worry churning inside him.

"I know." Bucky said, "So what are we doing about it?" resolve strengthened his tone.

"I'm going to talk to Banner. See if he can shed some light on the subject. Find out from Tony what his drones found at the base where they kept her will you?" Steve shifted the phone to the other ear as he glanced down the hallway again. "I'm going to talk to Norah again. Hopefully I can get her to talk about whatever it is that's bothering her."

"You got it." Bucky sounded determined. "Are you going to come in for the party Stark Jr. is throwing? If you can get Norah to come, it might be good for her to get out of the house... maybe give Banner a chance to talk to her...?" He suggested hopefully.

"I don't know Buck. You might be right... I'll talk to her about it, but if Norah isn't ready, I'm not going to force it. And I'm not leaving her here alone just to come to some party." Steve turned off the stove and walked to the cabinet. "I'll let you know ok?"

"Ok." Bucky replied. "Oh and Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell her to keep her chin up." Steve smiled at this. "Will do Buck."


	16. Chapter 16

**HI! I'm so sorry the updates have been so sporadic. Between work and classwork I've been crazy busy. I'm going to try to keep this updated for you!**

 **Thanks again for reading!**

* * *

He ended the call just as Norah walked into the kitchen. She looked pale, but more alert. Her damp hair left a dark stain on the shoulders of her sweatshirt as she eased into a seat at the small table in the corner. "Hey, feeling any better?" he asked, walking to the cabinet containing dishes.

She smiled softly as she watched him retrieve plate and bowl and carry them back toward the stove. "A little, I think... um..." She rubbed a hand across her forehead "Hey, I just wanted to say thanks. For, you know..." she gestured to herself, and then the plate he was carrying toward the table. He shook his head again "Don't worry about it" he said, his Brooklyn accent coming out slightly. He placed plate and bowl on the table in front of her, and then turned away to grab a napkin and utensils.

"Tomato soup and a grilled cheese?" Her question was accompanied by a smile that lit up her corner of the small kitchen. He returned, handing her the spoon and napkin with a sheepish smile. "It was a favorite of mine when I was a kid. Mom wasn't home to cook that often, but when I was sick..."

"Which was a lot" Norah interjected with laughter in her voice.

He quirked an eyebrow "which was a lot" he replied, confirming her assumption "She would make me soup. The grilled cheese was a bonus." he said the last part with a wink.

She leaned forward and took a bite, her eyes closed and a soft sound of appreciation escaped her as she chewed. "mmm... and this from a guy who only learned to use an electric stove recently? I'm going to have to keep you around soldier." she said with a laugh. He chuckled warmly, sitting across from her at the small table. "It would be a pleasure" he replied, with a note of something extra in his voice.

Norah looked up at him for a moment, her heart warming at his casual smile, but then glanced back down to her bowl, suddenly shy around the man who had nursed her for the past three days.

"You're dang right it would be!" she finally said, using sarcasm and sass to cover her sudden attack of nerves.

Steve's face lit up at the joke - and the fact that it sounded like the old Norah again. He threw his head back and laughed out loud, a warm, masculine sound that conjured up visions of summer and family barbecues.

Norah smiled along with him, but then suddenly cocked her head to the side, a strange look crossing her face. Steve's chuckles died out as he caught her action "everything ok?" he asked, suddenly concerned. "What?" she asked, pulled out of her thoughts by his question "Oh. Yes, everything is fine. It was just... your laugh." her sentence drifted off as she narrowed her eyes, thinking.

"My laugh?" he questioned her with a raised brow and amused smirk.

"Oh," she said smiling again "Yeah, your laugh... it's just really nice I guess." A blush suffused her cheeks at this, but she said nothing more and continued to eat, suddenly lost in thought. His laugh had been nice, that was no lie. But what had caught her attention had been the fact that when he laughed like that, all the painful noise in her skull had suddenly calmed. Just for a second. It was like all the sounds that had bombarded her since the experiment had suddenly cut out, and been replaced. But then they returned again. Just as before. She didn't know what it meant, but she knew that she wanted it to happen again.

* * *

A few days later, Norah stood at the doorway to her closet, contemplating the meager choices inside. She turned at the soft knock on the open door frame and gave a rueful smile. "How offended would everyone be if I went to this shindig in cutoffs and an old band t-shirt?" She asked with a grimace, indicating the closet, which stood all but empty of any formal wear.

Sam stepped further into the room with a laugh - "to be honest, if Tony is throwing this party, I wouldn't be surprised to find people wearing party hats and superhero capes". Norah smiled and rolled her eyes, turning back to the closet.

After the phone call with Bucky, Steve had been called back to New York to deal with a few things, although it had taken a great deal of cajoling on Norah's part to convince him that she was ok to be left alone. Feeling quite proud of herself after having successfully talking him into going, she had only been half surprised when Sam rang the doorbell a few hours later. Although she had given a great sigh and rolled her eyes at how protective everyone was being, Norah was secretly relieved to have someone around.

It hadn't taken much convincing to get Norah to agree to a trip to Stark Tower. Although the party was just a convenient excuse, she did want to talk to Bruce more about what had happened to her. When she first returned, everyone had been worried about her physical symptoms, assuming that she would have been beaten and/or neglected, and of course they had known about the drugs they had given her, but since then, they had left her to herself. If she was being completely honest, she was confused that people hadn't been hounding her more, but then she had realized that it wasn't SHIELD in charge, it was the Avengers. She knew that Steve and the others would give her as much space as she needed, but also be there in a heartbeat to help should she need anything.

Shaking herself out of these thoughts, she heaved a sigh and looked over at Sam. "I suppose there's no other option" she said to his quizzical look. "We are just going to have to go shopping". Sam chuckled "Oh, yes I see that it is a major sacrifice for you to go shopp- wait a second. We?"

Norah just laughed, "Oh yes. _We._ "


	17. Chapter 17

**It has been forever since I updated. I'm sorry!**

 **The story has been so intense lately, I thought my characters deserve a little break. You know, they need a chance to relax... for a moment anyway. ;)**

 **P.S. I know I've been messing with the timeline a little, but I needed a little more room to breathe!**

* * *

Norah had never been much of a "shopper", but the look on Sam's face as she dragged him from boutique to boutique _almost_ made it worth it. "You know," she called from inside a dressing room, "you really don't have to stay with me today..." she let her voice trail off with a smirk to herself in the dressing room mirror. She knew Sam was 'on duty' and had been sent by Steve or Bucky (or both) to keep an eye out for her. The entertaining part was going to be getting him to admit to it. So far he had been well stocked with excuses _"I was just in the neighborhood"_ and _"I needed to go grocery shopping anyway"_ etc. Norah honestly didn't mind that he was hanging around, but it was way too much fun to torment him. She knew he couldn't complain out loud, or he would have to give a reason for why he was staying. "I don't know about any of these" she called out, although she had already found the dress she was going to wear to the party. "I think we'll have to hit a few more shops - or maybe go back to that one we saw earlier..." She chuckled to herself in the mirror, she could practically hear him groaning. She stepped out of the dressing room and came toward him, keeping her face calm. "Unless you have somewhere else to be, I can just see you later at the party..."

"Oh, no... no..." Sam struggled for something to say, "I've got nothing planned... just hangin' with you... having...fun..." Norah couldn't help herself anymore and cracked up laughing. His eyes narrowed "what?"

She controlled her laughter for a moment, to put a hand on his shoulder "Sam, you're obviously miserable. It's ok." She decided to take pity on him. "I'm actually done shopping - found everything I need for the party." She dissolved into laughter again "But all of your excuses were so cute!"

"So you're telling me you knew the whole time and just kept letting me come up with ridiculous stories?" Norah shook her head and sighed, rubbing the painful crease between her eyebrows "That's exactly what I'm telling you Sam."

"After all I've done to help you, and this is how you treat me?" Sam pulled a face and looked injured. "Oh, you deserved it for lying to me. Now why don't go see the others and relieve you of your sentry duty huh?" Norah said with a wink as they exited the store and made their way toward Stark Tower.

* * *

After being escorted to the top levels of Stark Tower and greeting Pepper who was apparently on her way out of the country, Norah turned to find herself lifted off of the ground in a pair of strong arms. One of which was not entirely flesh.

"Well hello to you too" she said, her voice muffled in his shirt. Bucky lowered her to the ground gently and stepped back. "Good to see you kid." he said, the old charm seeping into his voice. "You had us a little worried there." He reached an arm around and pulled her to his side as they began walking away from the elevator.

"I would be annoyed at you calling me 'kid' all the time if it weren't for the fact that you are literally almost one hundred years old." Norah gave him a smile and nudged him with her shoulder. "Yes, well, I'm still pretty spry for my age - which means I expect a dance later!" Bucky replied, noting that her smile - that same Norah smile as always, was still missing something. "Well, I'm not sure the dancing will be what you're used to" she said with a chuckle, picturing his reaction to modern dancing. Bucky wiggled his eyebrows, hoping to disperse the shadows hiding in her eyes "you know me" he said with a smirk, "I'm up for anything". Norah just laughed as they walked down the hallway to their rooms. She was glad to be here - and no matter what was going on with her - she knew she had a great group of people around to help her through it.


End file.
